


sanctuary

by hamartiawrites



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, DanAndPhilGAMES, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mental Illness, Minor Mentions of Death, Panic Attack, Scared!Phil, Sleep, also phil looked so scacred, basically dan and phil being cute little shits, d+p at the boncas was way fluffier than any fic i will ever be able to bring out lmao, i dont even know anymore, little fyi but for some reason outlast scared me the least out of the spooky week vids?, outlast - Freeform, protect phil 2k16, scared!dan, spooky week 2k16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 17:29:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8632198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamartiawrites/pseuds/hamartiawrites
Summary: Dan and Phil play Outlast II, and Dan finds out that Phil hiding half of his face with his shirt wasn't just an exaggeration for the fans.





	

**Author's Note:**

> tw//mentions of death, but none of them actually die

Phil's hand is shaking as he reaches to turn off the camera.

His usually pale complexion is tinted red with a blush, and he's sweating like he's just run a marathon, but it's a cold sweat, one that is a result of being frightened for too long.

"So, do you want to start editing or watch a movie first?" Dan asks nonchalantly, as if he hasn't just watched their character die a horrid death and been jump scared about a thousand times.

He's acting like his heart isn't beating in his chest at maybe a thousand miles per hour, or that his hands aren't shaking beneath the long sleeves of his jumper.

Or maybe that's just Phil.

"Yeah." Phil's voice is small. He's too scared to speak up, and he's sure that if he raises his voice a bit, he'll start sobbing.

Dan lets out a snort, eyes not moving from the computer screen. Phil finds himself flinching every time Dan clicks something, and suddenly, the light from the computer screen seems all too bright.

"Phil, you can't answer yes if I'm asking you to choose between two things." Dan reminds him.

"Okay." Phil answers. His voice is getting smaller and smaller, and he's a bit aware of his breathing coming in shorter breaths.

Dan doesn't seem to notice, and he grabs his cup, putting it up to his mouth before looking down at it with disdain. "Ugh, ran out." he murmurs, standing up from his chair. "You want a drink?"

Phil shakes his head, staring straight ahead at the monitor. He doesn't trust himself to speak anymore, knowing that if he does so much as open his mouth, he'll either start screaming or sobbing.

Or maybe both.

"Right." Dan says warily, and Phil can hear a hint of suspicion in his voice. In all honesty, Phil wants nothing but to bury his face into Dan's chest and hear his heartbeat and know he's safe, but Dan might think he's too childish.

After all, Dan had just laughed in exasperation after the game had ended, and sure, Phil's heart is beating against his chest and he can't breathe properly, but that's normal and bound to disappear soon, right?

"I'll maybe get some food so we can eat while editing." Dan suggests, halfway out of the office. Phil nods in response, waiting until Dan reluctantly walks out before shakily reaching for the mouse.

_It's just a game. It's not real. Stop being such a baby._

Phil takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to stop his heartbeat from echoing in his ears before clicking the folder that has the recorded game in it.

In a series of unfortunate misclicks, Phil finds himself face to face with the footage of their character being dragged into the well.

The computer speakers are still at max volume, and the sound of the character's screams are too loud, too terrifying, too _real_.

It takes Phil forever to realize that the screams are so real because they're mixed with his, but he can't stop, because even if he closes his eyes he can see the blood, the mangled dead bodies, the monsters that are nearing, and they're going to kill him, he's going to _die_ -

"Phil?"

In the back of Phil's panic-stricken mind, a voice reaches out to him, calling _'That's Dan, he'll keep you safe.'_ Phil can vaguely see the all too concerned brown eyes, can feel the comforting hand rubbing up and down his arm, and he can see Dan's mouth moving, but he _can't hear him_ , and Phil tries to call out to Dan to tell him, but it just comes out as a choked shout.

"Dan." Phil chokes out, trying to show Dan he can't hear him. It's what freaks Phil out most - the fact that he can't hear Dan's voice reassuring him means he isn't safe, because Dan would never lie.

Amidst the panicking, Phil suddenly feels warm. For a moment, his vision clears, and then he sees something that makes him the smallest bit more relaxed.

Sitting in front of him with a concerned look on his face is Dan himself, hands cupped to the sides of Phil's face.

"Phil?" Dan repeats, and this time, Phil can hear Dan's voice along with the movement of his mouth. He nods, watching silently as Dan lets out a sigh of relief and shuffles a bit closer to where Phil is leaning against the couch.

"Deep breath in, deep breath out." Dan says softly, and Phil gulps in air and shakily lets it out, feeling the smallest bit better as Dan fixes him with a smile. "There you go, how about another deep breath?"

This goes on for a few agonizing minutes (but to Phil it feels like hours), but after Dan's continuous whispers of "it's alright, you're safe, I'm here" and "I love you so much, that's it, you're doing a great job", Phil can finally feel himself breathing properly again.

Dan senses this, too, and he draws back with a concerned smile, still holding Phil by the arms. "Hello."

"Hi." Phil whispers hoarsely. He feels physically drained, as if he's just run a marathon, and his hands are still shaking, his mind still deciding to show him images of creatures he'd rather not have in his dreams.

"You scared me back there." Dan admits in a hushed whisper, softly massaging Phil's hands.

The feeling of Dan's thumbs working themselves into Phil's shaking palms calms the older down a bit, and he lets out a shaky laugh. "I scared myself."

Dan's eyes flit back up to Phil's, and there is nothing but guilt in his eyes. "I shouldn't have left you, I should have paid attention, you were obviously scared." Dan spits out, every inch of his tone suggesting that he blames himself completely for Phil's panic attack.

Phil shakes his head immediately, squeezing Dan's hands tighter in his. "It's not, I was just - being a baby." Phil mutters.

Dan's head snaps back up, and he shakes his head furiously. "No! Phil, don't say that, that was a spooky game, anyone would have -"

"You weren't, though!" Phil points out, eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "You just laughed after the video was done, you didn't even seem to be bothered by it!"

"Phil." Dan says, taking in a deep breath and looking in Phil's eyes. "Phil, look at my hands and tell me I wasn't bothered by the game."

Phil's eyes move down, to where Dan's hands, still in Phil's own, are shaking slightly. Slowly, Phil puts a thumb over Dan's wrist - and the quick beating against his thumb makes him look back up to Dan in surprise.

"But I thought-"

"I didn't want to tell you, 'cause I was the one who wanted us to play Outlast." Dan admits. "And I played it in 2014, I'm supposed to be used to it already. I even gave the game a four on the spookiness level - I just didn't want to act like a scared little kid in front of you."

"Dan, I'm your boyfriend, and on top of that all, your best friend." Phil exclaims. "I'd rather you crying in my arms exactly after a video game to feel better than you waking up every night because of nightmares."

"As long as you do the same?" Dan asks, and Phil nods, smiling in response to Dan's smile.

"C'mere." Dan says, outstretching his arms, and Phil falls into them and pressing his face against Dan's chest, listening to Dan's heartbeat as Dan plays with Phil's hair, pressing little kisses to the top of his head at random intervals to help stop Phil's shaking.

"How'd you even survive playing Outlast alone?" Phil murmurs against Dan's shirt at one point.

Dan lets out a low chuckle, the movement making Phil's head bounce up and down against Dan's chest. "I didn't, actually. Kept waking up every five minutes screaming and crying."

"That's terrible." Phil whispers.

Dan lets out a hum. "Yeah. I even tried everything to try and forget the game, but it took me hours to finally fall asleep ."

"How'd you do it?" Phil asks, struggling to keep his eyes open. The sound of nothing but their fan whirring and both his and Dan's breathing calms Phil down slowly but surely, and with the exhaustion that comes after a panic attack, Phil can feel himself falling asleep.

Dan can feel it too, Phil guesses, because his touches are getting softer and gentler, massaging Phil's shoulders in an attempt to get him to relax even more. "You helped me."

"I did?" Phil asks.

"Yeah, I realized I couldn't fall asleep without hearing your voice, embarrassingly enough." Dan admits, and Phil can imagine the small blush tinting Dan's cheeks. "So I opened up my laptop and found that one playlist our audience made of all your videos and listened to them until I fell asleep."

"That's cute, Dan." Phil smiles.

"Yeah, well." Dan murmurs, and the massages stop. "Maybe it would be cuter if I made you go to a proper bed, you're obviously falling asleep."

"Only because you cute-talked me to sleep." Phil smiles, and Dan rolls his eyes playfully before hoisting Phil up, putting an arm around Phil's waist to support his sleepy boyfriend.

"Well, I'll shut up so you don't fall halfway down the stairs and bring me down with you."

Phil hums in response, leaning his head against Dan's shoulder as he and Dan slowly make their way to the bedroom.

"Phil?" Dan asks softly as he sets the older slowly down on their bed. Phil doesn't answer, and Dan sighs, gives a chuckle in affection, and proceeds to brush Phil's hair aside and place a kiss onto his forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Phil." he whispers, before walking over to turn off the light. He gives Phil's slumbering figure one more affectionate look before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

A yawn escapes Dan's mouth as he walks back to the office.

Somebody's got to edit that video, and if Dan has any say in the situation, it sure as hell isn't going to be Phil.

* * *

Phil wakes up to the sound of screaming.

He jolts awake, pressing a hand against his heart to try and calm it down and stop himself from screaming, but then he pauses midway.

The screams are still loud and clear, but they aren't Phil's - because they're shouting Phil's name.

"Phil, Phil, _Phil_!" the screams continue, mixed with sobs at some intervals. The voice screaming Phil's name sounds heartbroken, scared, lost, defeated, and oh so _familiar_.

Phil's eyes widen, and he fumbles for his glasses. As soon as he has them on, he turns to the spot beside him. Along with the pillow, the left side of the bed is completely untouched, lacking the presence of what would have been a disoriented and sleepy Dan waking up from Phil's screams (Dan has always been a light sleeper), so Dan's absence and the familiar voice screaming his name is finally connecting together in Phil's disoriented mind.

The moment it clicks, he practically hurls himself off the bed and bursts out of the room in long strides, going straight to the source of the screaming: the office, and his heart sinks to his stomach when he sees what's in front of him.

With his head and arms resting on the table and the computer still open, it's clear that Dan had fallen asleep editing their newest video. Phil feels a certain guilt eating away at him, knowing Dan had probably decided to edit the gaming video on his own because he didn't want Phil to edit it, no matter if that was with Dan or without Dan. The prompt on the computer screen says that the video has finished saving, so Dan probably fell asleep halfway through waiting for it.

A little voice in Phil's head tells him it's his fault, and Phil finds himself agreeing with that little voice.

"No! No, Phil!" Dan suddenly sobs, yanking Phil out of beating himself up. His face is scrunched up in fear and worry, even though his eyes are closed, and he shifts even more in his seat, his arms moving wildly as he cries out for his boyfriend.

"Dan? Dan, it's just a bad dream, wake up." Phil states, shaking Dan's arm in attempt to get him to wake up. He knows from experience that screaming at Dan to wake up, while resulting in him waking up, will probably also result in giving him a panic attack, so he knows to never shout at Dan to wake him up unless there's no other option.

But when Dan moves away from Phil and screams, "Phil! No! Stop!" and goes about mumbling incoherent things and thrashing his arms wildly, Phil knows there is no other option, and he grabs Dan by the shoulders.

"Dan! Dan, it's just a dream! Wake up!"

Brown eyes fly wide open and Dan takes a large intake of air, putting up a hand to grasp Phil's arm. "Phil-" he gasps, still disoriented and confused about the fact he's suddenly in the office with Phil.

"It's me, I'm right here, Dan." Phil whispers softly, bringing up one of Dan's hands to cup Phil's face. "I'm not going anywhere, bear, I promise."

"You - I -" Dan stammers, taking in short and quick breaths. "You were-"

"Sh, sh, I got you." Phil murmurs, moving forward to engulf Dan in his arms. As soon as Dan falls into them with a shaky breath, Phil moves an arm up and down Dan's back to get him to calm down. "Deep breaths, bear, it's alright. I got you."

Dan takes in a deep breath, albeit a shaky one, and he buries his face into the crook of Phil's shoulders. Phil takes in a subtle breath as he feels Dan's tears fall down onto his shirt, and he clings onto Dan a little bit tighter.

"It's alright. I'm not going anywhere, bear. You're safe. I'm right here." Phil murmurs into Dan's ear.

It takes a few minutes for Dan to take in a deep breath, as if trying to explain his nightmare to Phil. "You -"

"You don't have to talk about it, Dan." Phil frowns, but Dan shakes his head against Phil's neck.

"It helps." Dan croaks out, so Phil falls silent and continues to rub his hand up and down Dan's back. "We were - we were in the game and - and you tried to - to save me but - but you -"

"Dan." Phil protests, squeezing Dan's arm, and Dan pulls away to look up at Phil, brown eyes brimming with tears.

"It was horrible." Dan chokes out. "They made me watch, and you kept asking for help and I couldn't help you, you - you -"

Phil closes his eyes and holds onto Dan's hands tighter. "Dan, bear, you don't -"

"You _died_ , Phil."

Phil had been expecting that to happen to him in Dan's nightmare, but he's still surprised by it, and he looks up to meet Dan's sorrowful eyes. "You died and I couldn't do anything about it." Dan whispers.

"Bear, I'm right here." Phil whispers, and Dan lets out an exasperated noise.

"I _know,_ but -" Dan starts, gesturing with his hands wildly until one comes up to push his own hair back. "It just felt so _real_."

"I know, bear, I know. I'm so sorry." Phil says, and he cups Dan's face with both hands. "But I'm here, okay. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, and we're both safe. Okay?"

Dan nods slowly, as if he's a child that's being scolded. "Okay."

Phil smiles, and he brings Dan's head closer. A smile and a blush grows on Dan's face as Phil presses a kiss to Dan's nose, and they both share sleepy smiles when they meet each other's eyes.

"Let's go back to sleep, hm? Come on, let's get you up." Phil smiles, and he hooks an arm around Dan's waist, using the other arm to sling Dan's arm around his shoulders.

"Phil, I've had a nightmare, not plummeted down the stairs to my death." Dan complains, but Phil can feel him sagging against his body.

"Just returning the favor." Phil smiles as they trudge down the steps.

"So is this going to be a thing, then?" Dan asks, and Phil notices the way he clings closer to Phil when Phil reaches to turn off the lights in the hallway.

"Maybe. Or you could stop falling asleep in the office and come to bed when you feel sleepy." Phil scolds softly.

"Phil, I was editing, I didn't mean to fall asleep." Dan's whines join the creaking of their bedroom door opening.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dan." Phil rolls his eyes.

"You, maybe. Sleep beside me?" Dan asks, tugging Phil towards the bed.

"Let's get your clothes off first."

Dan smirks. "As much as I would love to have sex, I really am sleepy, Phil."

A disapproving glare from Phil tames Dan considerably. "I meant for sleep, wouldn't want you waking up again because you're a hot sweaty mess."

"Still an innuendo there, Phil." Dan murmurs, but he allows his shirt and jeans to be slipped off his body by Phil's gentle hands. Once he's stripped to only his boxers, Phil takes him in his arms and gives him a small kiss on the cheek before laying them both down against the warmth of the bed.

"Goodnight, Dan." Phil murmurs, wrapping an arm around Dan's waist and snuggling into him. Dan's body responds by fitting into the curve of Phil's own body, and for a moment there is silence.

Then there is a sigh, and Dan, in a small voice, calls into the darkness.

"Phil?"

Phil blinks blearily into the darkness and the dark figure that is Dan. "Something wrong, bear?"

"I just -"

Dan hesitates, and Phil finds himself growing awake in anticipation of Dan's answer. "Just what?"

"I just really love you, you know? More than anything." Dan whispers. It's soft, as if Dan had meant for Phil not to hear it, but to Phil's ears, his statements echo across the room - and even throughout the whole of London.

"I love you too, bear. And Dan?"

"Hm?"

Phil shifts the arm that is on Dan's waist in an attempt to find his hand, and when he does, he gives it a squeeze, thumb running over it in little circles. "I'll always be right here."

Dan smiles, closing his eyes contentedly at the feeling of the warmth that is everything about Phil. 

"I know." 

Neither Dan or Phil say anything about it the next day, but their fans certainly notice how Dan picks a less scarier game than Outlast.

(And if someone does notice how the two boys press up against each other more than usual, no one says anything.)

(Or at least, they no one says it straight to Dan and Phil's faces.)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The Spooky Week 2016 video that took me forever to finish. Bit of a small trivia: that last part with Dan's nightmare was originally not supposed to be there, but I've always had trouble posting a short phanfic.
> 
> If you haven't seen it yet, this is based off of [Dan and Phil playing the Outlast II Demo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v33LDiBfnP8), and there are also mentions of Dan playing Outlast (which you can watch [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8DeO117qb0) if you haven't seen it, though I dobut that).
> 
> As always, [reblog](http://hamartiahowell.tumblr.com/post/153555311358/sanctuary) or [retweet](https://twitter.com/hamartiahowell/status/801381831719337984) this if you can! Leave a Kudos or comment if you have the time, and if you have any suggestions for any fics, leave them below as well! Thanks for reading!
> 
> (In all seriousness though, Phil looked so mentally scarred after playing Outlast II. Someone save him.)
> 
> \- hamartiawrites


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